Printer Woes

I'm super pissed off with my mom.(like this is the first time!) After nearly 3 years of sleeping, I finally revived back my printer. It was not easy though. In fact, in was terrible. Firstly, I've upgraded my OS from Windows Me to Windows XP. Thus, I lost all the past datas. Here comes a new beginning, I have to install back my printer drivers. So I inserted the disc. I don't know what's with this fucked up computer and printer, some files can't be copied and I have no idea why cos the files are in the cd! And then... I had to search for another alternative. I searched for the drivers online. I don't know how long it took me cos I didn't clock myself, however I could feel that it took ages. And whenever I found the correct driver, it still had problems installing. So... I went to XP's official site and downloaded it straight from there. To play safe... I downloaded the drivers for XP, Me and also 2000. XP's and Me's didn't work, miraculously the 2000 one worked. However there were still errors. So I searched for a collection of drivers made by some guy. It consisted of printer drivers from various HP models... ok it worked! Yahoo! I thought that that was the end. I was wrong, yet again. My printer was finally awaken and it had some adjusting to do. It was huffing, and puffing, and creaking. I think it had an asthmatic attack. Seriously. It was making these loud creaking noises and then the ink cartridge just stalled half-way through the metal strip thingy. To add to my confusion(like I'm not confused enough!) the orange and green lights kept blinking alternately. I thought, "What the bloody fuck is going on?" So I went to XP's site and check for troubleshooting and the guy who did that thingy must be some super disorganized guy. He left like a chunk of possible causes for those blinking lights. So... I switched off the thingy. Oh yeah before the lights went blinking, I tried to print something to see whether my printer is able to serve me for some few years more. So back to the story... when I switched it on, the same goddamn thing happened. So I lifted the cover... and then wiped off the dust(which had actually "copulated" for over these 3 years) clean from the metal bar... Then I tried again... ok this time, the paper was sucked in... but guess what... without printing, the printer just ejected the paper... it went on and on and on and on for approximately 10 or 15 minutes. I don't know what the fuck my printer was thinking about, maybe it was trying to get back in form. It kept sucking in the papers and ejecting them out. And I only placed 3 blank papers in my printer. So I have to keep on feeding in the papers after it had been ejected cos my dumbass printer just won't quit it! And so... I cancelled the printing job. I switched off my printer, I restarted my comp, and started anew. After my computer has loaded, I switched on the printer and tried printing another document. FINALLY, it worked fine this time, but there was no ink on the paper. Well, I already know about that cos the ink has run dry since 3 years ago. And that was the sole reason why I had not used the printer ever since cos my stingy Mom being the Cancerian she is won't buy me a new one. So... after that I went to my parents' room and asked my mom whether she wanna lose approximately $100-$200. She was, of course, appalled. And I said if you don't wanna lose that amount of money then buy me an ink cartridge for my printer. Of course that was an ULTIMATUM. Guess what? That #@#$^%^*@!$#@ won't buy it cos she said she went to SingSong this morning and had no money left. I mean, THE FUCK?! She bought shit man! There was nothing. There were only some instant epok-epok! And of course my track pants for PE. And I don't see no other stuffs! And she die-die say she won't buy me an ink cartridge. And I'm pissed. Cos I spent nearly an hour to revive back this old chap, and it was all for NOTHING! Plus... I really urgently need to print something. So to whom it may concern, FUCK OFF!