The few friends that I have...

Okay, let's forget about the post describing myself, because... even though I'm a narcist, I can't think of anything to write about myself right now. So... when something cross my mind at another time or something, I will update it here.

So, for today... I will do a super mega ultra special entry dedicated to my friends, or to be more specific, my Kuntet friends!!! Whom... I'm trying so theee verrryyyy hard to persuade in becoming Bobos, like me!!!

So... to be fair and square(being the Libran I am), I will go alphabetically, according to their names. First in line.... is... *teng teng teng*.... AZURA AZIZ!!!

AZURA aka Juju aka Bapok:-
This is my bapok friend. Wanna know how she got the much fought after title? Well cos this stupid bimbo/himbo, went to perm her hair... and let it down while wearing a hair band... which makes her look like a Thai katoey from side view! Haha... all thanks to her courage in perming her hair! So now, people, ok maybe just the Kuntets, can't stop themselves from calling her Bapok... and Pok sounds just so nice, especially also because she looks berlapok. Heh, just kidding. I don't how people can look berlapok, only Mimi knows those kind of dumb things. So... back to Juju... she has quite a temper and quite fucking moody. The other time, we were going home from Jurong Point and an Ah Soh approached her to do some stupid Bigen survey. At first she was all so happy and cheery and even told the Ah Soh that her name is Juju, she even *surprise surprise* spelt out Juju for that Ah Soh. Then, after realizing that the Ah Soh was taking too much of her time and Nana, Mimi and me was starting to get impatient of waiting for her to finish her stupid survey, Juju being the bratty Bapok she is, starting to lose control and mood. She started to give tt fucked-up face every Bapok gives when she/he sees a handsome attractive man ogling and hitting on me, the pretty babelicious chick. Haha, ok just kidding. Anyways, she gave that super pissed off look and answered the question nonchalantly(hope the spelling is right, but it seems wrong) plus she wasn't even making eye contact with the Ah Soh... and then she started to tell the Ah Soh that she needed to go home... and boy was she a fierce mama!!! Hahaha.... and well she was pissed after that... as in pissed off. So she can be quite temperamental so don't get on this Bapok's nerves, I know... cos I got a Cancerian mom too. So oh well... And I admire Bapok's super bluntness and frankness which is like super cool. Oh maybe I could just relate her to my mom who doesn't seem to mind making super blatant blunt remarks about other people's boobs for example. And Bapok is a potential bisexual at least. Cos she is always touching people and is always physically intimate. But that's just her... so Bapok and me will hold hands while swinging out hands and walk together like a pair of lesbian couples in school(She is such a fucking bad influence!). She has no shame and plus, I don't think she cares about what people think of her. I think she wouldn't even mind coming to school bald as a Buddha. (To Nana: MAAF ENCHIK BUDDHA!!! Hahaha) And I just found out that Juju is fucking rich. But being the Juju she is, of course she wouldn't let me have half of her allowance. She eats a fucking whole lot of food... that's why her allowance is never enough! Juju stop eating so much so you can have my babe-ish figure. Hahahahaha... And she likes to shit and shit and shit... something is fucking wrong with her metabolism rate.... it's going at a super fast speed. Maybe 140km/h. And she doesn't really mind shitting at public toilets, it's like her 2nd home! So that's all that I can say about Juju right now. Will update later on if I have anything else to add. Oh yes, Juju... is one of our Kuntet Klan members who is always fucking MISSING-IN-ACTION! So if you happen to stumble into Juju when you're outside shopping or whatever... please... do throw dog shit on her! Haha, just kidding Juju. I know you deserve better than that, cow dung, perhaps? Heehee.... Oh yes, plus, this old bitch thinks she is a fucking three-year-old cos she relates very well with K-14... or something like that.

HANNAN aka Hanbal aka Mimi:-
Mimi is a psychotic girl who is Urmila Matondkar's identical twin, not in terms of looks(cos Mimi is more of Sri Lankan!) but cos she is just well PSYCHOTIC. She sometimes talks in formal flowerry Malay, just like Yusof Haslam movies and it will be so frigging good for her to land a role in Yusof Haslam's movies. She will excel. Very well. With dialogues such as, "... aku akan tabah..." or something dumb like that. She was the psycho who called be a bimbo and gave me the name Bobo cos she is too fucking lazy to pronounce bim-bo which is like 2 syllables(just like bo-bo!). That shows her bobo-ness. But she will never admit to her bobo-ness... whatever it is, I think I'm slightly better than her, cos at least I'm just a Bobo while she is a NOT only a bobo, but also a PSYCHOTIC one. Imagine, what a psychotic bobo would do. She would screw you for like 143 times in a day and later cut of the dick for her cat, and then ur body for the neighbourhood dogs and ur armpit hair for herself. Yes, she is THAT psychotic! Don't misjudge her. She is also the passive member of the Kuntet Klan... and Nana was right, if we were to be in a band, Mimi will just be sittin on a chair, at the edge of the fucking stage while just tapping her legs, or clapping or playing tt thing which I can't remember the name... but well, it looks like a "kerang" thingy... so... yea, that would fit Mimi well. Oh yes, just for the record, Mimi is derived for Mila which comes from the name Urmila, her psychotic idol. Mimi is also neither Malay nor Indian. She is just, well, a Manggamma. So well, you know her fashion sense... leopard-print furry bags, tight black denim bell-bottoms, tight black t-shirt, with cheetah-print hairband/scrunchie... and so on and so for. So when you see Mimi Manggamma, dun forget to insult her with derogatory terms such as Thanggechi and so on. Hehee... you know I was just kidding, Mimi. Oh yes, she is also otherwise known as Durga Kannamma Devi. Well, no one will question your reliability when you introduce Mimi as Durga. So well, I just wanna say something to you Mimi... and I seldom say this, and I know it means a lot to you, for your self-esteem and all, so.... I just want to say that I sympathize with you Mimi. Oh yes... she was also hit on by 2 Ah Nehs this afternoon... The 2 Ah Nehs was like driving in a pickup/van or somethink of that sort and the driver horned while looking at her with full of lust. Well, it must be those 2 mosquito bites on her chest. Muahahahahaha... just kidding Mimi, you know what I think of those huge boobs of yours. Oh yea, Mimi is currently working as a Mamasan and at the same time, teaching professional line dancing at your local RC centre! Register today!!! Oh yea, she specializes in cha-cha! Hahahahahaha...

NADRAH aka Nana aka Nad/China Doll(hahahaha)
For the record, Nana doesn't look shit like China Doll... but I guess Melody thinks that way about her... haha who's Melody? Ask Nana... she has a lot of lustful and passionate things to say about Melody. Nana is one of my best pals, she is very helpful and if anyone of you needs a slave/dog, well she is the ONE! Hahaha... just kidding Nad. Come on, you know I love you. Seriously, Nad is a good pal who will help you if you ask her to assist you with something, and she is also caring and stuff. She works well with a bossy person. Eg: Me. And she is also my soccer friend who always play soccer with me when we were in Year One. Well... we were crazy back then. I dunno what the heck we were thinking but... we played soccer quite frequently. Just the two of us(haha sounds so gay!) and also sometimes with this another dog of mine. Hahaha... just kidding Nad, you know you're not my dog, well, actually you are cos ure DOGGY CARLOS! And we always come up with stupid evil malicious-intent ideas... so maybe that's why the stupid fucking teachers decided to separate us this year. Cos if not, we would have probably burn the whole school down mercilessly while catching everything on tape and send it to Gotcha! She is also the friend who will sit down and compose stupid songs with me... such as... Bang bang bang...sattt... Hik hik hik. Or another example, Hari in 45kilo, Smlm 50kilo. Orrr.... Kau Lembuku. Yes... those are the kind of crap that we come up with. And she has a tendency to amuse herself by doing stupid things that enhance her dog-ness. She is also a procrastinator, who might just live with her braces till her last day on Earth cos she is just too lazy to make another appointment with her dentist. See, she has elements of a pig too, lazy! Muahahaha... I know Nad... you are so pissed right now cos you can't reply to these insults with longer ones cos you don't have a blog and I know you would be too lazy to even get yourself a blog! Hihihi... People say I'm evil but as far as I know... Nana is much more evil than me. She is the mastermind of some of the most horrendous things, so never trust her when she is in one of her crazy mood. She was also the very person who kicked a ball right in my face with intentions to chip the ball. If that incident leaves any kind of effect later on in my life Nana, I'm going to sue you till your very last cent, in which, you won't be able to eat anymore... ahahaha!!! And you will be all so skinny and I can make a based-on-a-true-story film about you.... just like the time when I said you should act in my movie, the one in which you got raped at the bus stop near my house... and then became an Olympic gold-medalist runner and then got psychotic after the interviewer digged about your past, in which you were brought to the sewer and met up with the psycho Mimi who till then doens't own a house and lives at the sewer and then both of you plot to murder me but in the end, failed and was given retributions by God for all your evil-wrong doings. So everyone, let's simultaneously shout in unison, "Nana is a DOGGY!!!" Oh yea, she was my primary school schoolmate too... and also Malay class classmate! Oh yea, she was my Mak Tanggang who have difficulty differentiating staplers from pisang salai.

SHAHIRAH aka Nene aka Pervert
This is my most perverted and horny friend. She is like her Gemini-counterpart, Mimi, psychotic... in her own ways, which, in order to be more specific, inclines towards... PAEDHOPHILE activities or SADO-MASOCHISM plus SCAT! Ok, that's her! She likes to have people such as R.KELLY pissing on her.... and cumming all over her, which his (she claims) huge black dick, which in my humble opinion must look like a big black snake. And that, you must admit, is fucking disgusting. She even have these frequent wet dreams in which she leaks in her sleep and wake up in a puddle of her own orgasmic liquid substances. I think she must be listening to Liquid Dreams every night before she falls asleep. No one in the right state of mind would even dream about R.Kelly the child molestor who piss on girls and shove his snake in underaged girls' warm mouths. That's just horribly wrong, well morally and socially! Muahahaha... And he is such a paedophile, he married Aaliyah(Rest in Peace) when she was just like 15, without her parents' consent. I think fate must have screwed R.Kelly's life, cos really, if there was a girl who should be married to him, it is none other than Nene(pok!). She is as perverted as him, and they will have a fantastic sex life, in which the next time I meet Shahirah, she will like be leaking all the fucking time, cos her hole is just too stretched by R.Kelly's snake, if you know what I mean. And I would then recommend Ira to buy some adult pampers(those for the aged aka grannies and grandpas) which will not only help hide her leaking problem but also will help in enhancing her pointed butt. Oh yea, and Nene(pok!) is maybe a little on the bad side of her life, cos after struggling to face the society for one year, due to the sudden activation of her pimple glands, she is now worrying about her shrinking height, boobs and butt. It's ok Ira. Having nasi-lemak 50-sen boobs is nothing to be ashamed about. Cos, there's so many people out there with those kind of boobs, such as... pre-pubescent girls and also transvestites who are just starting on hormone pills and boob injections. Hik hik hik. Just kidding babe. You know that you're always a Baywatch babe in my eyes. Hehehehee... Nene is also never ashamed to tell us of shameful encounters and all her fantasies. And she is one horny biatch who keeps fantasizing about all kinds of dirty sex things. And most of them are twisted too. Not forgetting that she is also on Michael Jackson's side, as she thinks that sleeping with kids is perfectly o-kay. So everyone out there, never trust your kids with Ira, especially after she expressed her desires in furthering her studies in Early Childhood education after her A's. So, if you don't want your kids to turn out as perverted and horny as my beloved Nene(pok!) please keep your child away from this cracko!

ZULAIKHA aka Kaka aka Pembuih Harapan Bangsa
This is our fellow Pembuih in the Kuntet community. She will be planning all these exciting soccer outings, practices, matches and in the end, guess who's MISSING-IN-ACTION?! Yeaa... you got it right! The stupid horny Kaka!!! This Kuntet is a bobo who will never admit she is one, tho' I still think that she is a bobo, especially when she was 15. Oh yea... she was my Secondary School classmate for 4 years... She was horny back then. She still is. She is the kind who wouldn't mind having intercourse with an Ah Pek as long as he wear those kinda brown paper bags(used in America, Ku Klux Klan way) over his face. Yes, she's horny. And which girl with a normal level of sexual drive will wag tongues with her boyfriend in the MRT before alighting? Only Kaka would do that, which proves that she has a very immense high level of libido and sex drive. So... really... I think she can qualify as a Geylang-ian if she wants to earn extra cash. Have you like actually paid your $400? Seriously, maybe you should consider starting a career at Geyland. Hey who knows you might be the second friend that I know of who is a mamasan(after Mimi!)! And that will be like super cool. Cos you will be like filthy rich and I can like beg for your kindness.... and maybe you could give me some fucking money. Kaka can also be quite funny with her spontaneous jokes... and she's fun to be with. We are quite sekepala but of course my brain is bigger and better than hers. So... oh well, it's ok Ika, nothing be ashamed of a pea-sized brain... its the quality not the quantity ok. *hugs* This Kuntet comrade of mine also... digs in farting. Ok I have no idea what makes her boyfriend actually fall in love for her, she surely must have deceived him by pretending to be this nice innocent girl for a few months... and make him like her before she starts to fart and stuff after that, and it's like all is too late! Scheming! Scheming biatch! Hik hik hik. Anyways... I don't dare smell her fart everytime she release the lethal gas... but I'm assuming that it stinks... from all the things that she eats. Plus... she is my one and only friend who had ate luncheon meat before... and she even had the cheek to say that it tasted like chicken! So, it can be said that she's partly non-halal right now... Maybe that's why she is just so horny, you know. And once she meet a man who can attend to her insatiable sexual desires... I would like to wish that man All The Best Of Luck. Because I am sure, one fine day, you will just run out of semen. God Bless You. Oh yea, she has a cool 2nd sister who is so nigga-ish and stuff... Hahaha... but well she is the extreme opposite. Ika only qualifies as a Botswanian. Yes, the boring mundane one.

Ok, I can't think of anything else to say about my fellow Kuntet Klan members and Bobos... so if something cross my mind, I will update later. Till later... Oh yea... some of the things I say might be fiction but most of them are mostly and hugely true, since I'm a very honest person... so... yea... TILL THEN! KUNTETZ LIVE AND ALIVE!!!

p/s: Sorry for any spelling, grammatical errors or the such. You guys know what I mean. And any hurt caused is purely unintentional and I apologize, being the good-natured Libran I am.